S9EP11. Winning relationships: how great leaders earn loyalty and build high-performing, diverse teams with Hilary Fordwich

I founded my company 23 years ago to do what wasn't there and what is desperately needed in construction, in engineering, because I've worked with a number of construction firms, which is how to gain and retain clients. There's lots that I do under that umbrella, but that's the professional side. I also do a lot on different networks, network television, across the aisle. I happen to, as you can tell from my accent, be English born and I do have connections with those that work very closely with the Royal Family. So I've done a lot of Royal coverage, but also global business coverage, economic coverage. I'm a single mother. I'm a golfer and I found that to be phenomenal for business development and developing relationships.

What are some of the key leadership skills that are necessary to succeed in a global business environment?

Some are very similar and are universal across the world. Others, and I've done quite a bit of international training now for global companies, there are some things that are very American and there are things that are very British and then European and Asian. There are some different ways to go about things. But this podcast is in America, and I'm going to touch on some key American points for you. My whole principle is the difference between need and want. Every one of your members is dealing in an industry where something is needed. The asphalt is needed, construction is needed, this is needed. Why would their firm be wanted? How do you make sure your firm versus all your competition is selected? That's where I come in. I coach and train and speak on how to make your firm the one that is wanted. My entire principle and everything I do can be summed up in, it's the difference between need and want. How do we make sure you are wanted?

Now to your question with regard to leadership as a leader. Anybody listening to this, there's only one thing your whole job and your whole life is about: how do you, as a leader, make sure your firm is wanted? It's got to be your firm first. The number one thing is how can I make sure as a leader, my firm is the one that is wanted? So that's the external want.

What are some of the biggest challenges leaders face when managing a diverse team and how do you navigate that?

Diversity is huge. And by the way, the world isn't getting any more homogeneous. Particularly in the asphalt construction industry in general of course, it's very diverse. The first thing to remember as an American leader is not everyone thinks like an American. So an American mindset and an American way of communicating is different than the other ways people communicate. Number one most obvious thing I always point to when I'm doing international training is other languages can be very literal. American is a figurative language. When you meet one of your buddies and friends and say, ‘Hey, how are you?’ You don't expect them to say, ‘my elbow, I just had this little ligament’ and ‘Oh, my left nostril!’ That's not what you are asking. Even though they’re the words you said. In America, when you say ‘see you later,’ I remember being in Holland when I headed global business development for KPMG worldwide, and I said it to somebody, ‘I'll see you later,’ and he came back later and said ‘what time?’ So we don't have a literal language.

Now to your question about diversity. Different people like different things. As a leader, it is so important to learn what is important to every member of your team. Here's an example when again, I was heading Global Business Development for a systems integration firm. We had a lot of people across the world, and I had about 20 to 30 direct reports and then a layer under them. So it was almost 70 people that I was really responsible for keeping on sides. I said to them all “I am going to work really, really hard. You can count on me any of the time.” And this was before cell phones, this was back in the nineties. But I said, “look, I'll be here late, even on a Friday night, even all around the year. But once it comes to the spring and the fall in America, I just want to let everybody know I really want to leave early on a Friday because I want to hit balls or I want to try and practice for the weekend for my golf.” That's what I really want. Now what do you want? Tell me what you want.

What trends or challenges you think leaders are going to need to adapt to in the coming years?

You're right, Brett, and different parts of America are completely different. I worked in New York City, completely different than when I moved to Washington, DC. I know the world used to be more diversified and different because obviously there wasn't technology. Technology has made the world a lot more homogeneous. Even still, different parts of America operate very differently. Now to your question about what trends am I seeing, certainly there's always this big discussion about the difference between boomers and millennials and Generation X and generation Y. We could spend a lot of time looking at all the differences, but I look at the universal truths that are never going to change. Otherwise you spend too much time thinking what makes them completely different. I look at the universal truths and universal truths are the things that absolutely everybody wants.

So a trend is, and you know, technology has enabled this. The trend is people have had the luxury of wanting more work-life balance than I've ever witnessed ever in my work history. Now, I do think with economic uncertainty and a tightening of an economy, that changes because people are more appreciative of their jobs in the first place. But that is a trend I've definitely seen. And that is universal. That's across the globe. That is a universal concern that all leaders have to address.

What are some of the common mistakes leaders make when they try to establish strong client relationships?

Where things go wrong are when businesses try to be too transactional. Going back to my want pyramid, I said there were three pillars. Likability is the gatekeeper. If people dislike you, they're not going to do business with you. People dislike you, they're not going to hire you. People dislike you, they're not going to promote you. But it isn't enough just to be liked. I always call it the gatekeeper. What's really important are trust and respect. Those two pillars are so important. You have to win people's trust. Universally, a pitfall that businesses make is they don't realize we have to be trusted and trust is an individual thing. It doesn't matter how great your global brand is. People have an interaction with you as a person. We've all flown different airlines. Right? Everybody listening to this podcast, I am certain, has flown an airline. When you fly an airline, do you meet the board of directors? No. Do you meet the senior leadership? No. The only people that you definitely interact with are the steward, the stewardess, maybe the check-in person at the check-in desk. There's an airline, I hope they never sue me, but they say flying the friendly skies, we've all flown them. Do you get on that plane and say, wow, they were so friendly? So I always say, make sure your brand is in line with how you behave. Make your people really friendly, but teach them.

Now this is the problem with many businesses. Another pitfall I have for you is that people actually don't realize you have to train your people. You see this all the time, ‘be great to our customers.’ You know, ‘treat our customers like they're number one.’ Well, your people don’t know how to do that. You need to bring somebody in who will train your people. How do you establish trust? How do you make sure all of our customers like you? How do you establish respect? The pitfall is not training their people. Bring in an expert who can train your people because it's not fair to take your team who are brilliant at asphalt, They're brilliant at everything to do with asphalt. Then you suddenly say to them ‘we want you to make sure all of our customers want you. You've got to retain all of our customers.’ That's not what their expertise is. How do they know?

If you’re listening right now, just think of this. Send out an email to all your team and say, without looking at the internet, tell me the three words that must be in every email and tell me a word never to use in any email with a customer. They don’t know, they haven't been trained. Train your people how to gain and retain clients and how to make sure your customers want you. Then you avoid the pitfalls.

Could you share your opinion about what really makes a great leader from being a good leader?

A great leader and again, I'll go back to my want principle, is when your people want to work for and with you. I love a line from the movie The Widow Maker. Not the greatest movie you've ever seen, but a good movie with Richard Widmark. It's a true story about a submarine. I won't ruin the story for you, but he was actually a Soviet commander, and he stands in front of his crew and he says to his crew, ‘without me, you're all going to die.’ And he stops, and he turns and he looks and makes eye contact with everyone and says, ‘and without you, I can die.’ Within just two quick sentences, he built a team. I think that's what leaders need to do. They need to realize you have to have your people want to work with you.

The worst people, by the way. and I hate to denigrate anybody out of the military because I so respect the military is, a lot of times you'll see ex generals and military leaders go into business. They are so used to an hierarchical world where everybody has to do what they're told. Whereas in the business community, you have to get your people to want to do what you say. They don't have to, they're going to be paid. They know it's very difficult to fire people. They're just going to quite quit on you. You must, as a leader, make your people want to excel for you. That's the key.

By this point, they're relaxed. They're just answering all of these woman's questions and they're chatting with me because they've asked me a couple questions. They tell me how long they've worked for PenFed and I say ‘oh, and what do you do?’ And they tell me. Then I back into the number one question, which I was not going to get in their car and ask them, which is ‘what do you think of the leadership and why are you here?’ I've done this with companies across the world and it is the only place I've ever worked with where 100% of the people will say, ‘that Mr. James Shank, oh, he comes out to all of our facilities and if I mentioned something at a town hall, he's taken care of it.’ Why do they say that about him? Because he goes, he listens, he's there. He spends time.

So if you are a leader listening to this, your people need to know you really care. I mentioned the want pyramid with three pillars. There are five ways to achieve those pillars. One of the ways is concern. You have to be genuinely concerned about people. I always say, if you don't care about your people, you know what? You need to go and find something where you are not dealing with human beings. People need to feel that you are concerned. They have to feel it. They have to tangibly be able to say it from the bottom of their heart. That's how you retain your best people and that will make you a great leader when they feel like you are concerned.

How can human truths and personal stories help businesses and leaders succeed? 

So here's a take home homework assignment for everybody listening. Go watch television and movies for a night but do this. Hollywood doesn't make mistakes. Whenever I do my training, I always say, ‘can anybody give us a movie that everybody's seen?’ Why? Because my sessions also are like edutainment. It's going to be interesting. I'm not going to use a boring example. Think of Forrest Gump. That's a movie pretty much everybody's seen, right? Who walked out of Forrest Gump and said to their best friend, ‘I am so confused, was like Forrest Gump, a mass murderer, or a or criminal? Like, I couldn't get who he was.’ You don't say that because you know Hollywood makes you like that character. They know how to make me like a character. Now, your assignment as a leader, no matter how likable you are, you have to become more likable no matter how much people trust you, respect you. They must trust you more. They must respect you more. There are five ways to achieve it. Think about universal truths and your job. To be more wanted is to drill down on universal truths. Do people like to be put down? No. When I'm talking to you, do you like it? If I look somewhere else or pick up my cell phone and look to the sky and roll my eyes out of boredom when you're talking to me. No, of course you don't like that. Your job is to build up your people. Look at universal truths. Look at things that succeed. If you do nothing else, watch a movie, think of what are those universal truths in those characters.

In a world of increasingly digital interactions, what advice to you have leaders to keep themselve authentic and build long-term relationships?

A couple of things. One, you're totally right about Zoom and Teams. There's lots of advantages to it. I think about the amount of times I went to meet with one person and how much time it saves and traffic and et cetera, but there's completely different etiquette and that is so important. I'm surprised they don't give more coaching to people. People want eye contact you literally have to stare down the little green camera dot on your computer. Somebody told me that they're actually working on, because so many people do Zooms and Teams, that there are computers that will track your eyes. Zoom etiquette is really important. Also the pace you speak has to be somewhat slower. I try to do my best. One of my biggest faults is speaking too fast, but slow down. Make eye contact with the dot, not with the human beings. That's the most important and there's a lot of different etiquette and leaders must perfect because they need to be the best and a good example to their people.

What advice would you give to people trying to maintain that kind of work-life balance?

Number one, and I'm going to be sound revoltingly modest now, but it's just truthful. Regardless of anything I might have achieved that looks good on paper, on a resume, in business. I’m the proudest of also being a single mother and raising three children that are wonderful. Luckily they love me to bits. They still want to spend time with me, they want to golf with me, they want to be with me, they want to do things with me. They're always calling me and texting me, and they're adults. Now, that to me, is one of my greatest accomplishments. But I was a single mother. I was in an era where, the thought of work-life balance never even occurred to me.

Okay, there were many times where I did have to stay up late to finish a proposal or something, but I've trained myself to be an early morning person. I wasn't always an early morning person before that, but I get up early and I wake up naturally every day between 5 and 5:30. It is amazing. Do you know how much you can get done on a weekend just getting up at 5 and 5:30 every Saturday, Sunday? I literally am buying that extra time. That to me, makes a lot of difference. Everybody has thing they like. For me personally, I golf on Saturday, Sunday morning, I just feel absolutely fabulous. Last but not least, when I meet with friends, I don't always go out eating and drinking. I go for hikes. It's lovely, the endorphins flow. I'm sure wherever you live in America, this is a beautiful country, you can find somewhere beautiful to hike and it is so good for you. I believe that every person's success is end-to-end holistic in that it's not just about your work, it's your life, it's about your marriage, it's about your children, it's about your health.

If you could summarize your leaderserhsip journey into one sentence, what would that be?

It's all about how you gain and retain clients. You've got to know how and your people have to know how.